When I arrived home that day, Brian was lying on the sofa watching the TV. I could tell by the look he gave me, that our cold war was still on.
I was dog tired and all I wanted was his stimulating massage but now that we were not on speaking terms, all I could manage a hot shower.
When I got out of the shower I couldn’t help but think of his smile and how he would normally tease me for taking too long in the shower.
Now there he was, oblivious to what was going on, pretending to concentrate on what was running on the telly.
This fight was killing him as much as it was killing me. But I was not about to bow down to him.
One way or another I would stand my ground and win it.
It was the only thing I could do considering I had given him two years of my life only for him to mess up when I least expected.
It was not like us to go on for days without talking. Normally when we rocked horns, one of us would swallow their pride and apologize. What followed were laughter and a lot of making up and would end up being one of our happiest days.
This time round, things had spiraled out of control. I loved him and he loved me as much. We were the only two people in a group of so many friends who were crazy enough to stick together for all those years.
He was my soul mate and nothing could ever make me leave him. Not even this stupid fight we were having. Deep down I knew that no matter what, we couldn’t live without each other. He was like an addiction I couldn’t shake off.
I was already dressed and ready for bed when he came into the room. Without talking to me, he just climbed into bed and rolled over to the other side.
It was clear that he was avoiding looking at me, for the mere reason that he would be tempted to tear my small night dress with his bare hands.
I knew it was killing him inside and a part of me wanted to just hold him and pour my heart out with all the apologies I could master.
One of us would have to give in. But this time round, it was not going to be me! Never!
I had gotten several pieces of advice from several people including my mom.
Being together for two years now, Brian had already met most of my relatives and so had I.
When I told my mom about what we were going through her only advice was that if I loved him, I would find a way of restoring what we had. She went ahead to give me some marriage tips about how such things happen in every relationship and how the goal is to just learn to forgive.
She went ahead to give me some marriage tips about how such things happen in every relationship and how the goal is to just learn to forgive.
However, I decided to go with the advice of my best friend – who by the way has never had a stable relationship that lasted more than two months.
During our usual Thursday coffee, Jo as we normally referred to her would pump into my head how men need to be taught a lesson once in a while if they are to remain true to us. She told me to stand my ground until he learned to treat me with respect. At that point, she made a lot of sense. Brian had played me for a fool.
In as much as he claimed that he never meant it to happen, I knew that a part of him was tempted to take it to the next level with that lady.
Now lying next to him, I was beginning to think that I took the wrong advice. I was dying to kiss him and to have him hold me the way he normally did. I didn’t want this fight to continue any longer.
But when her image came to my mind, holding him like they belonged, I felt a twinge of anger.
I switched off the lights and went to sleep. This fight was on.
To be continued on Thursday….
Written by Lillyanne Gathoni